Starting Out
Preparing for marriage is about more than planning a wedding
Many couples spend months — sometimes years — preparing for their wedding. They think about where they will live, their careers, children, finances and the wedding itself and all of those things matter, but there are some questions that, we suggest are often forgotten: how have our childhoods shaped us? How do we each respond to disappointment and conflict? What do we expect from marriage? How do we each understand God? What does Father God want to say about our relationship?
Over years of working with couples, we noticed that many started their marriage having never really asked one another some of life’s most important questions. Later, some of those same couples came to us for Sozo for Couples.
It made us wonder: What if those conversations had happened before the wedding?
Starting Out grew from that simple question.
What is Starting Out?
Starting Out is our marriage preparation programme, based on the Starting Out…Preparing Yourself for Marriage manual, written by Darrell. It is designed to help couples build strong foundations for a lifelong relationship together, centred on God’s love and His purposes for marriage. But it isn’t simply a marriage course in which someone tells you what makes a good marriage.
It creates space for you to explore your relationship together — and to ask Father God what He thinks.
What makes Starting Out different?
Many marriage preparation courses offer wise teaching and practical advice. Starting Out certainly includes practical conversations, but it also does something distinctive. Throughout the course, each person is encouraged to ask Father God their own questions and learn to recognise His voice for themselves.
Very often, what God says becomes the beginning of a deeper conversation between the couple. Instead of simply asking:
“What do you think?”
Starting Out also asks:
“Father God, what do You think?”
We believe that learning to seek God together before marriage lays foundations that can strengthen a relationship for many years to come.
What do you actually do?
The Starting Out manual provides the basis for the sessions. Rather than being a series of lectures, the sessions create opportunities for thoughtful conversation, personal reflection and asking Father God questions together.
There are no predetermined answers you have to reach. The aim is to create space for honest conversations that many couples simply haven’t had before.
How many sessions?
We offer Starting Out flexibly, according to what each couple needs. It can be undertaken over four, six or eight weekly sessions, using the Starting Out manual as the basis for the work. Sessions are normally held by Zoom, making the programme accessible wherever you live.
The length of the programme can therefore be matched to the couple rather than forcing every couple into exactly the same format.
Who is Starting Out for?
Starting Out is suitable for couples: preparing for marriage; considering engagement; who want to explore whether marriage is the right next step; entering a second marriage; or who simply want to build their relationship on strong spiritual foundations.
Whatever stage you’re at, our desire is to help you make wise, prayerful and confident decisions together.
What do we hope couples take away?
Our hope isn’t simply that couples learn more about marriage, it’s that they learn more about one another. As couples begin to understand how their different life experiences have shaped them, and as they hear Father God’s perspective on those experiences, relationships can grow in compassion, maturity and understanding.
Above all, we hope couples finish Starting Out with confidence, confidence in one another, confidence in the journey ahead and confidence that God isn’t simply interested in their wedding day, but in walking with them throughout their marriage.
Starting Out isn’t just about getting ready for a wedding
A wedding lasts a day. A marriage is intended to last a lifetime. Starting Out is about helping you think beyond the wedding day and begin exploring the relationship you are about to build together. It’s about understanding one another; it’s about having conversations that matter; it’s about discovering how your experiences have shaped you.
And, importantly, it’s about beginning the habit of seeking Father God together.
Practical information
Starting Out is offered through four, six or eight weekly sessions, normally using Zoom.
The Starting Out manual provides the framework for the sessions, while the number of sessions can be adapted to what is most helpful for the couple.
If you’re wondering which format would suit you, we’re happy to talk it through with you.
EXPERIENCES SHARED
What people have said
“We enjoyed working with Darrell and Anthea, they were engaging, patient and really challenged us to get God’s perspective on various topics. We found them very accommodating, they provided much time, guidance and correctly pointed us to hear from God. We would love to work with them again.”
“The course was good value for money. We believe this course is important and should be essential for any couple who wants to get married.”
“This course gave us insight not only into ourselves as individuals but a greater understanding of each other. It is a tool that helps us know why we do or think in certain ways and how to see things from God’s perspective. Caleb and I have grown deeper in intimacy with God and with one another; we feel equipped and ready for this journey of marriage and this resource has given us the tools that are needed to start our lives and home together. We had major breakthroughs from this course; Ife was delivered from fear, whilst Caleb has also been able to reconcile unforgiveness in his heart from childhood hurts. Our paradigm has completely shifted, and we would highly recommend anyone who is exploring marriage to consider this course.”