Sometimes the event is over, but something of it is still living inside us. It may be a frightening experience, a relationship that wounded us or something that happened to us as a child.
It could be something we experienced repeatedly, something we have never told anyone about. Or something that, at the time, seemed too small to matter — but which somehow still affects us. Trauma isn’t simply about what happened. It is also about what happened inside us as a result of what happened to us. And sometimes, long after the circumstances have passed, our hearts are still carrying something of them.
What is trauma?
We tend to associate trauma with the most obvious and devastating experiences: abuse, violence, serious accidents, bereavement, disasters or other overwhelming events. And those experiences can certainly be traumatic, but trauma isn’t always dramatic from the outside. Something that one person manages to process without lasting difficulty may affect another person profoundly.
It could be a frightening experience as a child, or being repeatedly humiliated. It may have been bullying or neglect, rejection, abandonment, living with fear or being made to feel unsafe; a relationship in which we were controlled or manipulated.
Sometimes it is one overwhelming event. Sometimes it is a succession of experiences. Sometimes it is the accumulation of many things that, individually, might appear insignificant. What matters is what happened to us — and what it did to us.
Why do some memories stay with us?
Most of us have thousands of memories. Some are vivid for a while and then gradually fade. Others seem to have a life of their own, we can remember the details years later; we can remember how we felt. Sometimes a sound, a smell, a place or a conversation can suddenly bring something back with remarkable force.
Why?
Because some experiences haven’t simply been stored as information; they have been experienced emotionally. They have become part of the story our hearts tell us about ourselves and about the world.
And sometimes our hearts can be carrying painful memories long after our heads have decided that “that’s all in the past.”
Our hearts can carry trauma
We believe our hearts are profoundly important to the way we experience life. Our hearts are where our emotions and feelings live and develop, and what has happened to us can affect the way we look at and respond to life. At Wonderfully Free, we’ve described this particularly simply:
Our hearts can be broken, with bits of them stuck in traumatic memories in the past.
That doesn’t mean that we are permanently damaged. It means that something that happened to us may still have an influence on the way we experience the present. Our head may say: “It’s over”Our heart may still say: “I’m frightened.” Our head may say: “I know God loves me” Our heart may still say: “But can I really trust Him?”
Our head may say: “I should be over this by now” Our heart may be saying: “I’m not.”
What can trauma leave behind?
Trauma can affect people in very different ways. It may influence: the way we see ourselves; our sense of safety; our ability to trust; our relationships; our emotional responses; the way we respond to particular situations; the beliefs we hold about ourselves and others; our relationship with God.
Sometimes we know that something is affecting us. Sometimes we don’t. We may simply notice that certain situations trigger a response that seems much stronger than we expect.
We may become anxious, angry, withdrawn or fearful. We may find ourselves avoiding particular situations. We may struggle with intimacy. We may feel that we always have to protect ourselves.
And sometimes we simply feel stuck.
The conclusions we draw
One of the reasons trauma can have such a lasting effect is that we don’t just experience events. We make sense of them. A child who is repeatedly rejected may conclude: “I’m not wanted.” Someone who is betrayed may conclude: “People can’t be trusted.” Someone who has experienced abuse may conclude: “There must be something wrong with me.”
Someone who has lived with fear may conclude: “The world isn’t safe.” Someone who has been abandoned may conclude: “I’m on my own.”
The experience was real. The pain was real. But the conclusion may not be true. And those conclusions can become the lies we believe that we’ve already explored on this website.
Trauma, shame and inner vows
This is why trauma connects so closely with the other areas of inner healing we’ve been exploring.
A painful experience may lead to a belief: “I’m not good enough.” That belief may produce shame. We may then make an inner vow: “I’ll never allow anyone to hurt me again,” and that vow may lead us to protect ourselves by keeping people at a distance.
What began as an attempt to survive can eventually become something that prevents us from living fully. The pattern can become so familiar that we don’t realise we’re living inside it. That’s why discovering what happened, what we believed as a result, and how we responded to it can be so important.
Where was God?
For many Christians, this is one of the deepest questions trauma raises. Where was God when that happened? If God loves me, why did He allow this? Was He there? Did He see what happened? Did He care?
We shouldn’t dismiss these questions with easy answers, and we don’t pretend that Sozo can provide an explanation for every terrible thing that happens in life, but there is another question that can sometimes be profoundly important: “Jesus, where were You when this happened?”
This is one of the reasons Presenting Jesus is such a significant Sozo tool. Rather than simply analysing the memory, we invite Jesus into it. Not to rewrite history; not to pretend that what happened wasn’t terrible, but to ask Him: “What do You want me to know about this?”
Hearing God in the middle of pain
This brings us back to something fundamental to Wonderfully Free: We don’t want somebody else to tell you what God thinks. We want to help you hear from God for yourself.
In a Sozo, the facilitator can help you ask Father God, Jesus and Holy Spirit questions about the things that have affected you. Sometimes what comes is an understanding of something you had never seen before. Sometimes it is a different perspective, sometimes it is forgiveness and sometimes it is simply an experience of God’s love.
Often a person discovers that something they have believed for years isn’t true.
The purpose isn’t to make the facilitator the interpreter of your life. It is to help you have a conversation with God about your life. That is central to the way we understand Sozo.
Does Sozo “cure” trauma?
No — and we don’t claim that it does. This is important. Bethel Sozo is a Christian ministry of prayer and listening. It is not counselling, psychotherapy or specialist trauma treatment.
A Sozo may help someone discover healing and freedom in areas affected by painful experiences, including trauma, but we don’t want to blur the distinction between ministry and professional clinical care.
Sometimes counselling or specialist trauma therapy will be appropriate. Sometimes someone may need medical or psychological support and sometimes a combination of different kinds of help is the wisest approach.
There is no failure in needing professional help.
And we would never want someone to stop appropriate treatment simply because they have experienced something helpful in a Sozo.
Healing is a journey
We also don’t promise that everything will be resolved in one session. Sometimes something profound can happen very quickly; sometimes healing unfolds gradually. Sometimes one experience of God’s truth reveals another layer that needs attention later, and sometimes what we need most is simply to begin to understand what has been happening inside us.
That is why we think of inner healing as a journey. A journey towards greater freedom, greater wholeness. A journey towards becoming increasingly secure in who we are and whose we are.
You don’t have to remember everything
If you’ve experienced trauma, you may have very clear memories, or you may have very little memory of what happened. You don’t have to force memories to come back. You don’t have to search for hidden trauma, and you don’t have to assume that every difficulty in your life must have a traumatic explanation.
Sometimes we simply know that something hurts. That’s enough to begin with.
Start where you are.
What if I don’t think I’ve experienced trauma?
That’s fine too. You don’t need a label. You may simply know that something from your past continues to affect you.
Perhaps you struggle with trust, or find it difficult to receive love. Perhaps you have a recurring emotional response that you don’t understand or feel disconnected from yourself or from God.
Perhaps you simply want to understand yourself better.
You don’t have to decide beforehand whether what happened to you “counts” as trauma. What matters is that God knows you, knows your story and knows what you need.
From trauma towards wholeheartedness
Our ultimate aim isn’t to make trauma the centre of someone’s identity. You are not your trauma. What happened to you is part of your story.
It isn’t the whole of your story.
We want to see people move from being defined by what has happened to them towards discovering who they are and whose they are. That’s why our understanding of inner healing ultimately leads towards wholeheartedness.
The journey isn’t simply: “How do I get rid of this painful memory?” It becomes: “Who am I now that I know what is true?” “How does God see me?” “What does it mean to live from that truth?” “What kind of person is God inviting me to become?”
That’s a much bigger journey than simply recovering from the past.
It is a journey towards life.
There is hope
If something from your past still affects you, you are not alone, and you don’t have to be ashamed that it does. You don’t have to pretend that you’re fine or understand everything before you begin, and you don’t have to choose between faith and appropriate professional help.
There may be things that God wants to show you; there may be things that need to be grieved and lies that need to be replaced with truth. There may be forgiveness to explore and protection that you no longer need to carry.
There may simply be a deeper revelation of the Father’s love waiting for you.
The past may be part of your story. It doesn’t have to determine your future.
Explore further
Understanding Inner Healing Discover why what has happened to us can continue to affect us — and why freedom is possible.
Lies We Believe and Inner Vows Explore how painful experiences can lead us to conclusions and decisions that continue to shape our lives.
Shame Discover how shame can make us hide — and how God can bring us into freedom.
Hearing God Explore what it means to hear what God says about you for yourself.
What Is Bethel Sozo? Discover the ministry of prayer and listening at the heart of Wonderfully Free.
What Happens in a Bethel Sozo? Find out what actually happens when you come for a Sozo.
Sozo FAQs Answers to some of the questions we’re asked most often.
Book an Individual Sozo If something from your past is still affecting your life, you don’t have to work out exactly what you need before contacting us.